别逗了关于“英语搞笑段子”的内容74
流年似水 2016-12-02

这单词啥意思??

一对情侣上自习,女问男:“这单词啥意思?”男挠挠头:“昨天刚看的今天就忘了,你打我一下吧!”说完女打了男一下,告诉他单词的意思。几天后两人又去自习,女又问男那个单词的意思,只见男脸红着挠挠头说:“嘿嘿,忘了,只记得你打了我一下~”

笑口常开:噪音的优点

Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it.
My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing.
Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply.
That's okay, he said. I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.
每当我驾驶我那辆旧车时速超过55英里时,它就剧烈地震动起来,所以我决定卖掉它。
我的第一位买主想买这辆车。围绕是否告诉他这辆车的问题,我经历了一番与良心的较量。终于我做对了。
我想他会放弃这个交易,却对他的回答吃了一惊。
那没什么,他说,我是给我女儿买这车的。如果她抱怨震动的话,那我就知道她开得太快了。

幽默:如此长的狗

Such a Long Dog Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.
从前有个瞎子。一天,他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋,狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。这人又往前走,这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴,狗又汪汪汪地叫起来。瞎子以为还是那条狗,惊诧地说:奇怪,这只狗可真够长的。

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条林荫道上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
  右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”
  左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
  中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。

An Abstract Noun

Teacher: What's an abstract noun, Jane?

  

  Jane: I don't know, madam.

  

  Teacher: What, you don't know! Well. It's the name of a thing which you can think of but cannot touch. Now, give me an example.

  

  Jane: A red-hot poker, madam.

King and Knave

George asked the once wellknown wit, Horne Tooke,whether he could play cards.

Your Majesty, replied Tooke, I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from a Knave.
乔治三世问一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·图克,会不会玩纸牌。 陛下,图克回答说:在玩纸牌方面,我只不过是幼儿园的水平。我甚至分不清国王和无赖。

英文段子:酒的好处

In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"

The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."
为了证明酒精对生物的危害,老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里,虫子很快就死了。老师问一个学生:“这说明了什么?”
学生答道:“说明人多喝酒,就不会长虫子。”

惜亦爱 2016-06-29

为什么会有人花10万块钱买一个包包

“为什么会有人花10万块钱买一个包包?”神回复:“目的就是为了让穷B去思考这个问题。”

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